JOurnal #2 - Mommy's Entry

I never did expect that I will experience this kind of delima. How do I handle it? well, I treat it as a positive experience, God would not given it to me if I can not handle it. A mother suffers the most when her child is in danger but a mother can also sacrifice every inch of her mind, body and soul for the benefit of her child. This is not an easy task but I handle it very well I think. With the tasks to make, go to the doctor, catheter her, let her wear shoe and let her feel positive about herself I've been trying all of this especially in administering catheter her. No one life to do this task not even my own mother or my husband, its very hard for them seeing Shyra suffering, but I handle it very well, at first I hesitated because I do not know what I am doing but with the positive talk from the urologist I overcome the stress and fear. I have become a nagger and an O.C. when it comes to Shyra's concerns, always nagging the Nanny on what to do. But if it can help my baby why not, but I reminded myself to behave and not to be obsessed about it to prevent stress and misunderstanding. I always think of Shyra as a gift or as a special child not as a disabled child.This way I never have to be depress and not do anything about it. It is a very hard role for me to act but with the help of prayers and positive thoughts I concur the difficulty and win! I love her as much as I love Nicole.